Is it wrong to smile at a funeral?

Sadly we buried my mums eldest sister this week, my Aunty Pauline.

My hubby is on the other side of the globe and couldn’t attend the service, so later that evening he called to ask “how was the funeral?”

How do you rate a funeral?

I paused.

I really couldn’t answer his question.

I know I not on my own here when I say, funerals can be a really shitty thing to attend.  With my personality type I like to find the happy in most situations.  I like to smile and I like to banter with humour.  Funerals just are not the place for me to be walking around with a smile on my face, but I do.

Don’t mistake my smile for an insensitive person, oh no that’s not me – a little uncomfortable and very very sad for your loss (and mine) but somehow I feel it easier to hide sad and find the happy with my surroundings.

Remembering the person and feeling grateful for having had them in my life makes me all warm and fuzzy – it makes my memories of them so much stronger and richer moments in my mind.  This way of thinking gets me past the grief of knowing there will no more memory making moments directly with this person, no more photo’s, no more meals together, no more phone calls, or parties to attend together, no more laughter directly with this person.

It’s at a funeral I realise my relationship with that person has now changed.  It has progressed from an everyday physical, intellectual relationship onto a silent, softly spoken, magical & spiritual relationship, and just because I can’t touch them, it doesn’t mean my relationship with them is over. Never! It is just morphed into something new.

Yeah I am pissed off I didn’t get to agree on the date and time that these relationships of mine transitioned from one stage to another, but my happiness always wins out in the end and my smile get wider for I know I was lucky to have been given the chance to have and hold them for the time I did.

I will go on record right here and now and say – should my time come and I have to move onwards and upwards, please please please get a groove on at my funeral, play it loud, dance it off, wear it bright and smile smile smile, because I will be doing the same wherever I am.

Rest in Peace to my Aunty Pauline, a beautiful, caring, angelic, empathic soul inside and out.

Thank you for the memories.

Til we meet again,


“I am always saddened by the death of a good person. It is from this sadness that a feeling of gratitude emerges. I feel honored to have known them and blessed that their passing serves as a reminder to me that my time on this beautiful earth is limited and that I should seize the opportunity I have to forgive, share, explore, and love. I can think of no greater way to honor the deceased than to live this way.” 
~  Steve Maraboli




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